So who is this Stam anyway?

Chaos and focus

Well, things are still pretty much a mess. Believe it or not, somehow there was another issue that got added to the small pile of chaos I already had. Hopefully it's solved by now...but it was pretty nasty while it lasted. Yeah, one more thing to worry about.

I'm dealing with it all, though. Learning to focus on what really is important to me and let the rest of it go past. So I was advised and it does seem to help some.

I'm concentrating on dealing with all the emotions that got let out this week. I don't know if it was just the one big issue...or if that issue was just the trigger for a lot of them to come out at once. At any rate, I've lost at least a measure of the control I used to have over emotional things. I still don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, though. Time will tell, perhaps?

I'm starting to look at the brighter side of things, though. OK, I don't much like Israel, or the attitudes, or the job climate, or...or...or..., but now I'm starting to look at the good things I have here.

There's several families I've really got to know well during my six years in Israel. This Friday night (Friday night dinners for orthodox Jews are a rather big deal, involving a large meal and lots of family time) I got invited out to one of the families I know...and they had a second family over that I was also familiar with.

Neither of the families is small. So this meant eleven kids between the two, none of them being over the age of twelve and two still babies, one quite recent and the other still carryable. Ever try being depressed when you've got the better part of eleven kids vying for your attention--or jumping on you to get it? It's pretty damn impossible. Just what I needed in my situation, I think.

Surprisingly--or maybe not so surprisingly--I find myself stronger in the faith department, now that I'm starting to sort things out. It does kind of make sense, that way...if it was G-d who dumped it all on you, perhaps as a test or something, then he sure can fix it all. Or so we like to think? There's two sides to that coin, I suppose...and I'm not going to argue either one.

And I really can't let this go past without a large thank-you to all of my friends, both local, at home and on the 'net. I'd probably be in a right state without all your help! Thanks!

Posted by adam at January 10, 2004 09:00 PM