Ok, so I have an odd confession to make. I have become reaquainted with a friend of mine from high school on facebook, who doesn't use the words "love" and "hate" without really meaning them, or adding qualifiers, so I've thought about this some. I love my broom. I don't think love is too strong a word here. And, before your mind gets dirty, I don't mean in a romantic or sexual way. I mean I love in a completely selfish kind of way. I love it for what it does for me.

So, if you haven't stopped reading yet, I will explain how I came realize this affection for my broom.

I actually have 3 regular sized brooms and one broom for midgets that comes with my dustpan. In my adulthood I've had this thing about changes in life and brooms. If a significant change came along, such as a move, I would buy a new broom, because I didn't want to bring my old dirt with me. Kind of a way to make a fresh start. More for symbolic reasons, but it's been important to me.

When Braz left, I thought I should get a new broom. Some of it, was might have been because I didn't want any of his old shed-ed skin cells remaining in the house. However, most of it was because I needed to symbolize a new life. I waited, at first because I wasn't really ready to let go. Then, once I started to embrace my new life, there was the issue of money. Since a new broom really isn't necessary, I didn't try to figure out a way to get a new one right now.

I thought about using one of the other brooms, but they each have their own purpose (one for camping, one for outside, and this now controversial broom). I just switched to using the broom that comes with my dust pan (it's the perfect size for the girls, but is a little small for me to use on a regular basis - and I do use my broom on a regular basis! I have been doing that for months now.

Lately I've developed some minor lower back problems and have been rethinking the way I do a few things. I noticed my back tightened up uncomfortably when I was sweeping out under the kitchen table. I took out my "old" broom (we just moved here a year ago, and I did get a new broom then!). I had a sit down with it. I decided that to just try it out. I could always ask for a new broom for Christmas or something (yes, I was really that pathetic). As I started sweeping, I noticed how great this broom is. It's angled just right, so that it gets in corners (and I have some weird corners in the breakfast nook), and under tables. It is a perfect height, so there is absolutely no tightening of my back. It took considerably less time to sweep my entire downstairs with this broom. It is a pleasing color: green and yellow. I decided to embrace this broom, and the little bit of past that it brings with it that bleach couldn't get off (yeah, I did clean the brushes in bleach, because I thought that would be a good idea). So, the broom stays in my new and improved life.

OK, so I thought I had written 2 entries in June. I guess I didn't, or I forgot to post them. I wonder what happens, exactly to missing blog entries? Huh.

Ok, so things have been going along. I've been reminded how God really does give you strength when you need it, not when you are worried that you are going to need it (hope I remember that next time I try to go and worry about something!) I really am feeling like we are all going to be OK. I have faith that God will take care of all of us. I'm feeling sort of . . . smooth about things. Then, along came the spider.

This was not a particularly large spider. It wasn't hairy, or even necessarily menacing. I've become pretty good at killing the spiders and ants that should dare to cross into our home. I came back from the kitchen, about to sit down on the couch and read a few chapters in my book club book (funny book so far, BTW, called Momzillas, however I can't figure out what in the world "NOK" means!). I saw on one of the side tables there was this spider sitting near the newspaper. I grabbed a wipe and smooshed it. Only, I didn't feel the squish, you know, the loss of life of a disgusting creature. I sort of laughed at myself, thinking I'd finally gotten used to killing a bug without having to somehow sanctify it's life. I opened the wipe to show myself that I really had killed another bug. The spider wasn't there. I searched around for this spider. It had disappeared. Suddenly I felt like my skin and hair was crawling. I had to get out of there. So, I grabbed my iBook and ran upstairs to my room, where I am now hiding out from this rather smallish spider. I suppose that I will read my chapters up here. My skin still feels like it's crawling, though. Yuck! I DO NOT LIKE THIS SPIDER!!!!!!! Yep, I'm strong and courageous! Look at me hide!