Subtitle: Did you hear someone laughing?
Theme Music: One Night in Bangkok
As I looked down on my corpse, the White Queen dancing gleefully around my mangled body I thought to myself that somehow, this whole thing was all involving some magician woman named Ddayzz.
No, wait, that's too late. Rewind.
So, we worked our way through the Comedy Theater, slowly murdering the patrons and the actors (A Comedy Actor's corpse does not think things are so funny anymore...)
Wait, wait, back up some more...
We're waiting in the snow next to the ice river staring at a tiny little castle. The castle is so small that it might house something even smaller than brownies. It's buried up to the second floor in the icy waters of the Great Divide River and serves as the secret entrance to our destination.
Omani's called in its troops and there are armies on either shore of the river somewhat north of the dragon caves. We had to race past fierce battalions of Kael spear-throwers to reach our goal. The Kael giants don't like me very much (I wonder why... probably because I'm an ally of two of their sworn enemies, the Thurgadain dwarves and the Dragons of Veeshan's Claws.) so it was a little tense running through their battlelines like that, but luckily the Thurgadain archers held them off.
I looked around at my fellow intrepid adventurers and wondered if we're truly prepared for the horror that lay ahead.
Gersemi, the barbarian warrior-woman from the frozen nation of Halas; Deanoo, an enchanter and Ddayyz, a magician were from my home-city of Felwithe, Sorrantiz, the lizard-woman monk; and Eltracker, one of the wood-elves from the tree-city of Kelethin. Later we would be joined by others, Loutsoul and her bethrothed; Kinaden, a wizard I'd met several months ago; Honth, one of the cat-people.
Finally, when we all had assembled and enchanted ourselves with spells of righteousness and protection, we ventured forth.
Into the Plane of Mischief.
The woods are decked with bright pink and purple leaves and the hostile creatures which inhabit them are mirthful in their bloodlust. Crazed laughter echoes through the trees from unseen sources. Puckish mushrooms scream at us and huge bixies attempt to stab us with their sharp stingers. Making our way to the castle is dangerous and we lose one in the attempt. Fortunately, Tunare, my goddess, is dire enemies with Lord Bristlebane, king of thieves, who's domain we're intruding upon and she grants my request to return the hero to life.
Halfway along the wall of the castle, we find the slain bodies of others who were attempting to gain access and I return them to life as well. My pockets are bulging with the generous donation they make, which I will use to better my gear and increase my own prowess in dedication to my goddess. In return for our aid, they agree to accompany us into the heart of madness.
The castle is well-protected. The entryway is hidden by an invisible bridge, which takes us a long time to find, but once our feet are on the parapet, we storm the gates, slaughtering the warped and twisted halflings who have dedicated their lives to an insane god.
We make our way into the castle, past cunning sphinxs and false, biting treasure chests to the library, where we slaughter gorilla scholars and take their library cards.
After laying waste to the library, we continue on to the Theater of Comedy, where we murder the actors and patrons alike. Our own giddy laughter echoes across the stage as we clear the balconies. From one of the actor's dressing rooms, we find the hidden entrance to the chessboard. Cleared pieces stand guard around the board and we slowly work our way around, killing spare pawns and bishops.
"We're close now," says Ddayyz, excited. She points to the board where pawns are moving slowly in to kill each other. "If we can kill these pieces, their armor is some of the greatest in all of Norrath."
We cleared all the way to the board and light-headed with excitement and exhaustion, we stopped to consider the board and how best to bring the pieces off their squares without the rest of the board noticing our attempts. Ddayyz, who controls the elements into a cohesive golem that serves her wishes, sat down just inside the door to the chessroom.
And that was where the Queen waited.
Sly, out of sight, she was like a spider, waiting for her next victim. Impossibly tall, she raged down on us like a storm. Her loud cries alerted a row of pawns, who leaped into the fray.
Like nine-pins, we were scattered to the gutter, our broken and bloodied bodies trampled under the feet of the chessmen. With a start, I found myself, naked and without allies, back in the frozen tundra of Everfrost, where my soul is bound.
The road back to our bodies and our armor was long. We had already been working towards our goal for several hours and we were weary. We made a brief stop in Plane of Knowledge and purchased several Jade Inlaid Coffins and brought them with us. From the very borders of Lord Bristlebane's kingdom, Imdeath, a necromancer of no little skill, summoned, one at a time, our corpses to us, so that I could implore my goddess to return us to life.
Next time, Bristlebane.
Next time...
-- Khith Tariel, 59th Templar of Tunare
*Gorilla* scholars???
...someone's been reading Pratchett...
Posted by: Gris on July 18, 2004 11:07 PM