Isn't it Ironic (Don't ya think?)

Despite the fact that it's usually insipid and rather boring, Kevin and I make a habit of attending Work Functions. Part of this is because a Work Function is an attempt to raise employee morale, and we think those sorts of things should be encouraged... Secondly, it's free food and drinks. Third, there's face-time with the big-timers in the company, which can become important in later promotions, projects, etc. Fourth, there are Prizes... usually a raffle of some sort of gift cards and whatnot... and hey, who doesn't need a bit of extra something around the holidays?

This year, going was a little harder than normal. Because of issues in her life, my mother-in-law was unable to babysit for us, and we didn't know she wasn't going to be able to until about four days before the event. And our back-up babysitter had another babysitting appointment on the 2nd. However, our back-up babysitter is going to Florida for 8 months for an internship with Disney, and she wants to raise all the money she can before she goes there to not get paid crap for working for 8 months so that she can have some good experience to put on her resume. (Irony #1: raising money so you can go work...)

So, we get dressed up to go. For the record, I pre-planned an outfit specifically for this event. I didn't, however, get to wear it. We hit a snag. Specifically, when I put the sweater on, the cuffs came off. ( I'm going to see if I can take it back, but I'm not sure I'll be able to, since I bought the outfit in October.) (Irony #2: When I don't pre-plan, everything works out fine. Pre-planning? I end up having to dig something out of the bottom of my closet anyway.)

We're almost ready to go, and I comment to the babysitter that it'll be good to get out of the house for a while, I've been doing very little aside from Warcraft for the last two weeks or so. A few minutes before we actually leave, I get a phone beep from one of my guildies telling me that there is Guild Drama. I spent the entire car ride to the party calling guildies and beeping with them to figure out what's going on, and the entire party stewing and being worried about Warcraft. (Oh, it's getting thick in here...)

Finally, we're at the party, I've had a few drinks and am trying to relax a little. We're cornered by one of Kevin's co-workers that he's none-too-fond of and get stuck sitting at the table with said co-worker. We end up sitting at a table with: the head of security who yelled and screamed at Kevin on his first day at work because Kevin's boss hadn't bothered to notify the head of security that there was a new employee; the woman who both threatened to pinch my baby when she was 13 days old because she was 'too quiet to actually be alive' and who stole a promotion out from under Kevin after he already had the training to get the promotion, and after two years in the position has done exactly NOTHING; and the Director of Kevin's department. Oh yeah, and the lady from HR who actually organized the thing who put us to work handing out disposable cameras. I forgot about her because once we handed out the cameras, she didn't come back to her chair. Oh. Rapture. (Ok, that's not irony, that just sucked.)

So, we're eating our salads and listening to the Very Bad DJ try to pump things up and be enthusiastic while everyone's looking at him with these 'oh, will you shut up' flat expressions, when they start the prize drawings. Three raffle tickets will be drawn every hour, and people will get prizes. I do a quick headcount. Assuming that only half the people there are employees, and only the employees got tickets, I figure the chances for us to win something are actually fairly good. The event lasts from 6-11, that's 15 people who are going to win prizes. There are about... 80 people there, or 40 employees.

"Aaaaaand, our first prize is 2 - that's right, folks, you heard me! - 2 $25 gift certificates to The SMOKEY BONES!" The DJ makes fake cheering noises into the microphone.

"What's that?" says the wife of the security guy.

"It's a really awful resturant," says Kevin.

"Oh?"

"Yeah," I agree. "We went there once. It was vile."

Kevin explains further, "They use donut dough to coat their onion rings. And then they salt it."

Job-Thief Lady, "That doesn't sound very good."

Kevin, "It's not. And their ribs aren't very good either. The Sauce is awful."

Meanwhile the DJ is up rumaging around in the jar for the winning ticket.

Me: "Yeah, I wouldn't go there again if you paid me."

DJ: "And the winner is... 329271."

Kevin glances at his ticket. "Oh. Dear god." 329271.

Yeah... Isn't it Ironic?

(Anyone want to trade $50 worth of Gift Certificates to ANYWHERE ELSE with us?)

Posted by tisfan at December 03, 2006 03:37 PM