The Princess Bride... As you've never seen it before.

(This is what happens when you let Karen and I get bored one evening with access to e-mail...)

"'Once upon a time-' / A beautiful beginning!" / "Yeah, it's really great."

Westley: "As you wish." / Buttercup: "Fetch me that pot. / He really loves me!"

"Nothing is nearby / Not for miles!" "Then there will be / none to hear you scream."

"INCONCEIVABLE!" / "I do not think that word means / What you think it means."

"Finish him! Your way!" / "My way... Thank you, Vincini. / Which way is my way?"

"Have you ever heard / of Plato, Aristotle, / Socrates? Morons!"

"Life is pain, Highness! / Any who says differently / Is selling something."

"Iocaine powder! / I would stake my life on it!" / "Could it be a trap?"

"R.O.U.S.'s? / I do not think they exist." / Westley is proved wrong.

"You have six fingers... / Someone is looking for you." / Lights out for Westley!

"The Pit of Despair! / Don't even think of escape!" / They killed Westley there.

"I'll call the brute squad!" / Fezzik: "I'm on the brute squad!" / "You are the brute squad!"

"Ya think it'll work?" / "It would take a miracle." / The old couple waves.

"Dweam wiffin a dweam." / "Skip to the end!" "Westley comes!" / "Your Westley is dead."

"Kill the dark one and / the giant, but leave the third." / Inigo triumphs.

"You killed my father / Prepare to die!" he challenged / And faced Count Rugen.

Westley: "Drop. Your. Sword." / Humperdinck is a coward. / The friends get away.

The boy was grossed out. / "This is a kissing book!" But, / "I don't mind so much."

The story is done. / "Read it again tomorrow?" / Grandpa: "As you wish."