A Few Thoughts

Just a few thoughts that have either repeatedly popped up over the past few days or moments that needed to be saved for posterity (who is sleeping next to me, swaddled and inserted in the middle of the boppy, looking like the donut hole that's finally come home).

First, while I know they're among the best-intentioned people around, and some of them are very helpful at it, I can't shake my feeling that a lactation consultant is overrated. Sort of the dotcom version of the maternity ward. Mostly hype, not a lot of special knowledge backing it up, but once in a while a worthwhile one does come along. Liz had a couple visit her in the hospital, and they were very talented at saying things like, "See that smacking she's doing with her lips? That means she's hungry." Gee, really? Thanks. Never would have figured that out. Let's go to the bonus round. How do you get her to suck? What? Thanks for the non-answer.

They were really good at being encouraging and gently persistent when they needed to be, but I'll never forget they couldn't answer the questions we didn't already know the answers to.

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A conversation with a nurse:

"What's her name?"

"Penelope. Penelope Anne."

"Oh, that's pretty. I like that. Penelope's a British name, you know."

"Um... no, it isn't. It's Greek."

"Is it?"

"Yes... you know, from The Odyss--

"Oh yes, but, you know, in all those English novels, there's always a Lady Penelope..."

(at this juncture, Matt manages to give the nurse such a withering stare that she actually shuts up)

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There is no silence as peaceful as the first ten seconds after the baby stops crying.

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When you ask the nurse how much rubbing alcohol to put into the jar of cottom balls (you swab the umbilical cord stump with the cotton balls, so it dries out and falls off faster), and she says, "Saturate them," what she actually means is "So they're all moist."

Posted by Matt at August 16, 2003 12:53 PM